Why People Get Self Care All Wrong

Why People Get Self Care All Wrong

The term “self care” has been trending this past year, motivating people all over social media to post their mushroom lattes, moon baths full of flowers, and yoga poses over the backdrop of somewhere picturesque and exotic. All paired with the hashtag #selfcare. Unfortunately, this is why people get self care all wrong.

Now don’t get me wrong, these CAN be a part of your self care routine but they aren’t what you should be building around it. If your baths need to look beautiful but you still look in the mirror and can’t see how beautiful you are, then there is a problem. Your self care routine is only scraping the surface and you might need to dig a little deeper out of the superficial zone. Why? Because self care is about finding yourself, accepting that person, and learning to rewire those old tapes that keep you stuck in life. It’s meant to change you. Self care is meant to give a clear message that, “I MATTER TOO!”

How do you know if your self care routine is superficial?

  • You believe you have to spend money in order to participate.
  • It doesn’t make you learn to love yourself any more.
  • It only pertains to your body and doing something “pretty” to it.
  • You need it to look good on Instagram or to others.

How to create a meaningful self care routine:

1. Start with this post on What IS Self Care.

2. Figure out your WHY and remind yourself daily.

Why are you doing this? What does it accomplish? Who do you want to become? Get curious about your answers. This will help you honor your decision to take better care of yourself.*

*I created my 5 Types of Self Care for Women based off of my why: 1. Physical, 2. Emotional, 3. Mental, 4. Spiritual; and 5. Menstrual.

3. Incorporate what you feel in your routine more into your daily life.

If making a moon bath makes you feel beautiful, then DO IT. And then find ways to make yourself feel beautiful outside of the bathtub too.

4. Make the time.

No excuses. Fight for that time slot. I know how hard it can be to squeeze it in but if you don’t consistently practice it, you won’t see the change. If all else fails, go back to your WHY (#2).

Self care is about making space for you to show up to your own life. Don’t forget that you matter too!

Cara Ansis is a Self-Love Facilitator and healer, helping women safely enter their own inward journey towards taking better care of themselves. With a master’s degree in Soul Care, she is a certified Spiritual Director and has had the privilege of working with countless women around the country. With her own profound story of self-healing, she now teaches those everyday techniques, rituals, and tools to enable other women connect with their own healing abilities and radically transform their lives. Cara lives in Chicago, IL with her husband, Matt and their son, Jaxon.