Loneliness can be an isolated expression of emotions. There are many things that make us feel lonely:
- You lost a loved one.
- You just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
- You just started a new job and you don’t know anyone.
- You graduated from college and realized that none of your friends live near you anymore.
- You’re the only single one in your group of friends.
- Your job is online and you don’t go into an office.
- You just had a baby and none of your friends have any yet.
- You’re married to someone who is emotionally distant.
- You just don’t feel understood.
While you are validated completely in your feelings, there are also things that you can do to take back control. Feeling alone doesn’t have to mean that no one likes you, that you’ll always be alone, or that you are unloveable. Maybe you just need a new perspective. Our emotions can always be a motivator to do something about it and make things happen, like reach out to others, make new connections and friends (even to yourself). Instead of remaining stuck in that emotion here is a list of 11 things to do when loneliness hits that allows you to honor it, experience it, while also moving past it.
11 Things to do with Loneliness Hits:
1: UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NOT UNIVERSALLY ALONE.
Remind yourself that others are feeling the same way as you are at this very moment too. This, however, isn’t to negate or downplay your feelings. When we say, “I know others have it worse so I shouldn’t complain…” we actually deny ourselves the permission we need to heal. All because we are denying that feeling. If you find that you do this, acknowledge that yes, others might have it worse. But that doesn’t invalidate your own experience. Try a slight shift by tapping into that Universal Emotion instead. “Someone, somewhere, right at this moment is feeling lonely too. And because of that, I am not alone.” Give permission to experience and honor your feelings while also seeing others in pain.
Explore the root of your loneliness in your journal. There is something very therapeutic about exploring our emotions by writing it out. Sometimes we can make sense out of them and sometimes we even find the answers that we didn’t know we were looking from, just be honoring our loneliness through a pen and a paper.
3: MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST.
Gratitude has a beautiful way of taking us out of a place of sadness and into a place of reality. It’s not that we are looking to avoid our feelings but we are looking to connect with truth. It might feel like we are alone but once we start to make a list of everything and everyone that we are grateful for, we realize that there really is more to the story than we see. It’s another way we can honor our loneliness while simultaneously holding gratitude in the same space. Try this Gratitude spiRITUAL with a cup of coffee.
4: MOVE YOUR BODY.
When you are able to bring joy to yourself or even just a smile to your face, you might find that the feelings you are experiencing aren’t so powerful after. Sometimes an impromptu dance party or a good sweat from exercise can give more clarity to a situation.
5: BEFRIEND YOURSELF.
Before you make a list of how you need the love of others in order to not feeling lonely, first start with yourself. Ask, “Have I been a good friend to myself? Where can I show myself more compassion and love? How can I connect with my self so I don’t have to always lean on others to fill that emptiness?” Maybe it’s taking yourself out on a date once a week, journaling, or even giving yourself the space to sit alone with your thoughts. By giving yourself the gift of your time, you gift yourself with friendship. You might be surprised to see what happens. You can even try this Shadow Work spiRITUAL.
6: CONNECT WITH NATURE.
Get some fresh air! Appreciate what Mother Nature has to offer and marvel in her beauty. Getting ourselves outside can do wonders for loneliness. We are surrounded by life at every corner. Sometimes it is just a matter of shifting our perspective. Try this 4 Senses Hike!
7: DO SOMETHING KIND FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
Another way to take you outside of yourself (after you have felt your emotions, of course) is to do a random act of kindness for another. Be the kind of person to others how you would want to be treated and watch how eventually it all comes full circle as you open up it.
8: FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS.
The healing is in the feeling so never bypass this one! Well, I mean, you can, but unresolved emotions tend to get stored in our bodies in some form of ailment or issue. If you are like most of us, you probably weren’t raised to be okay with exploring your emotions so start out slowly. It can be as easy as simply identifying what you feel. “Today, I am feeling lonely.” And just sit with that emotion for 5 minutes. If you feel like crying, cry it out, my love. There’s no medicine like a good cry. Use this as a guide as you work through your uncomfortable emotions.
9: GET TO KNOW YOUR NEEDS.
This is some of the best self care work you can do for you. As women, we tend to put others first and because of that, we are more in tune with the needs of others than we are with our own needs. The art of emotional self care begins with getting to know who you are and what it is that you need in order to be the best version of yourself. When loneliness hits, sometimes we just need to recheck our inventory list of needs and see if we can meet ourselves there.
10: HUG SOMEONE.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and tell someone that you are feeling sad. I know that might seem foreign to connect to others when you are already feeling lonely but that human connection just might be what you need. Having someone witness your sadness can remind you that are not alone after all.
11. CONNECT WITH THE DIVINE.
When in doubt, go to your Sacred Space and pour your guts out to God/the Universe/yourself–whatever you connect to most. Give yourself an opportunity to not only empty yourself out of how you feel but also allow for space to be filled up and encouraged.