The Message of Fear (It's Not What We Were Taught)
Being raised in religious circles you've no doubt heard that feeling fear and anxiety is a bad thing. Scriptures like these were probably drilled into your head:
Now that you're questioning these beliefs, or have left religion altogether, you're exploring other worldviews and still bumping into very similar rhetoric in the wellness community like this:
- Fear is a liar.
- Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
- Fear is simply: False. Evidence. Appearing. Real.
It sure seems like anxiety and fear are things you need to overcome, right?! I mean, doesn't everyone agree on this?
What if we told you that you've been trained to view fear and anxiety as something "bad," but they are actually just physiological responses in the body that are meant to help keep you safe from harm?
Experiencing fear doesn't automatically mean you lack faith, have a scarcity mindset, or that you're stuck in a trauma response. Though you have been conditioned to think fear is an enemy to resist, it actually has a ton of value! Your anxious thoughts can lead you to the exact need that is asking to be met for you to feel safe. If you feel like you're stuck in a battle with fear and getting no where, then the key is to start getting curious.
Go from: "Ugh, why am I STILL struggling with this??!" to "Hmm, I wonder what this emotion is telling me?"
One way you can learn how to relate differently to your emotions is through reframing what you say to yourself. Reframes like:
- Instead of shutting down my fear, I can learn to tune in and listen.
- There's nothing wrong with me if I feel afraid. My body is just trying to keep me safe.
- My feelings are valid, even if I don't understand them.
- I can feel fear and have a conversation with it, listening to what is has to say without judgment.
If you need more help working through difficult emotions because you have been trained to fight against them, here are 5 questions you can start asking yourself when they arise.
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