Managing Religious Triggers at Christmas
Christmas can be an especially challenging time for those who have left high demand religion, as religious triggers—such as prayers, hymns, and family traditions—can resurface powerful emotions. Remember, how normal of you if it does! Here are some strategies to help you manage these triggers during the holiday season:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
It's okay to feel triggered or overwhelmed. Recognizing your emotional response is the first step toward managing it. Understand that it’s normal to experience discomfort when you're surrounded by practices that remind you of your past faith. Here are 5 questions you can start asking yourself in order to move through these big emotions.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
If you're spending time with family, identify the specific activities that are triggering. Let them know ahead of time which parts of the holiday you're not comfortable with. For example, you might opt out of saying the prayer at dinner or attending a religious service. Read this post for more help with boundaries.
3. Create Space for Yourself
During family gatherings, find moments where you can step away to recharge. Take a walk, go for a bathroom break, or running a quick errand. These breaks can give you the mental space needed to cope with difficult moments. You can even use your sacred space as a place to retreat to once you get home to recharge and energize.
4. Focus on New Traditions
If certain aspects of the holiday feel too religious, consider creating new traditions that align with your current beliefs. Whether it’s a personal ritual or simply spending time with loved ones, finding new ways to celebrate can help shift the focus away from religious triggers. We have a whole section on creating your own rituals, if you'd like to check it out.
5. Practice Self-Compassion and Curiosity
Understand that healing from religious trauma takes time. Be gentle with yourself if you feel triggered. It's totally normal and to be expected. Instead of immediately judging yourself (that is the cycle you have been conditioned into by religion, after all), try practicing more curiosity when you can. Remember that you have the right to define your own boundaries and traditions.
6. Connect With Like-Minded People
If possible, seek out others who understand your experience. Online groups or communities of people who have left high demand religion can offer support, validation, and a sense of belonging during the holidays.
Dealing with religious triggers during Christmas doesn’t mean you need to isolate yourself or sacrifice your well-being. By setting clear boundaries, practicing self-care, and focusing on new traditions, you can make the holiday season more manageable and even joyful. Give yourself permission to experience the season in a way that honors your personal journey.
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