A Ritual for Grief: Creating a Grief Box

Here is a practical, yet beautiful ritual to help with honoring and releasing that sadness over all the losses that this holiday brings us. We call it the Grief Box.

The reason we love a physical container for our emotions is because it can provide structure for something that feels scary and overwhelming. The opening of the lid becomes a signal to you that, This is my safe place to experience my sadness...but once I put the lid back on, I’m going to place it down until I’m ready to process it again.

WHAT YOU'LL NEED:

THE MOOD:

Think about the mood you want to create with this ritual, and gather the ingredients needed (eg: candles or incense, a cup of tea, certain music, etc). The moment you initiate with dimming the light or taking that first sip of your tea, let that be the beginning to the ritual. You can even set a timer to allow yourself however many minutes you want to honor your sadness or use finishing your cup of tea as a means to stop.

PROMPTS:

Use this time to write down what you’re feeling. Some prompts to help you are:

• What are the things I have lost during deconstructing my faith?

• What do I miss the most about this time of year?

• How does sadness show up in my body?

• What is most difficult for me about this time of year?

• What needs did religion meet for me during the holidays? How can I start my own new traditions? (read this for some new ideas)

• What is hardest about feeling my sadness?

• What did my religion teach me about sadness? How do I want to experience it differently now?

ENDING THE RITUAL:

Place what you wrote inside the box. Take a deep breath. Try putting a hand over your heart and thank yourself for showing up. Put the lid on the box and place it back in its spot.

Blow out the candle. Turn off the music. Return to the box whenever you need.

*One of our clients said she used it like a gratitude practice, but instead wrote down 2 things that made her angry and/or sad about her day. We LOVE that!